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"I told myself that you understood. It was love, of course. And tomorrow, there will be a great emptiness."[/caption]Hello and welcome back to another review. This time, instead of popcorn you might be in need of tissues and ice cream. Nutella, in case this post ends up being catastrophic and very sad as I suspect it will end up being.
I requested this book on NetGalley totally out of the blue, after days and days of social isolation because you know… social anxiety intensifies. I was attracted mainly by the fact that it was included in the LGBT+ section of the website and I am a fan of this kind of literature; I find it very interesting and when it’s well written also teaches many things about a portion of our community that has a lot to say and to give to those who want to listen.
I admit I approached this little novel (we're talking about less than 150 pages, here) with discretion because I was afraid it was going to turn into a copy of Call Me By Your Name, something I have grown to dislike
This is the story of love and heartbreak and it might sound lame and seen already, it might sound like something that will never surprise you or get past the wall in your heart, but believe me when I say this is on a whole other level.
Plotline revolves around the story of a famous writer who at the beginning of the book is being interviewed in the hall of a hotel in France, when he spots someone he might know—someone he knows. He leaves the interview to run after this person and tries to stop them, sure he’s not mistaken. But in a way he is. From this encounter we follow the memories of a time our main character somehow misses and that at the same time formed him into the man he’s at the beginning of the book.
We follow the journey of a young man who falls in love, gets betrayed, keeps on loving and waiting, but that ends up heartbroken when life decides it’s useless to keep on playing with humans. We follow a story that is being told not only to us readers, but to someone specific. An apology. An “I love you, sorry for being too afraid to say it” kind of story.
It might sound cheesy and definitely out of my alley, probably something that you, my dear visitor, might not enjoy as well, but let me tell you. Let me praise every single bloody comma of this novel, because I gave it five stars for a reason. Several reasons, actually, but I will condense them in a big massive unique one, so bear with me a while longer.
I guess that there’s something delicate and pretty personal about love. The way a writer talks about it, the portrait, the effects and the things we feel, the perspective that inevitably changes when one falls in love or out of love.
It’s hard to find someone who is able to write our personal idea of this complex feeling and it’s even harder to accept the reality and truth of said words once on the paper. It’s always easier to run into those books where everything has a happy ending and love triumphs despite the odds. And yet, I find myself drawn to this kind of books, where love is real and happy endings are too unrealistic to be part of the book. I find myself drawn to books that don’t stop at the mere listing or description of events to tell their story, but that talks to your feelings through the feelings.
I found a magical prose, in this book; Besson knows how to enchant the reader and managed to get hold of my attention from the very first line and sucked me up in a tornado of emotions and thoughts that together allowed me to picture the situation as if I was part of it. It’s an evocative and careful writing style the one Philippe Bessons uses, because he chose to tell a story of the heart and when it comes to heart, the matter is always fragile. Besson style is also naked; he never uses pompous metaphors nor he lies to make his reality more acceptable and tolerable. He’s very straightforward and never weavers.
In this way, Philippe Besson’s characters are human, realistic and relatable. The reader can’t help but put themselves in their shoes at least once throughout the book. It’s hard to not see ourselves in our writer, that has loved and lost and yet not forgotten. It’s hard to think that Thomas has been a selfish minion, when you see him through the main character’s eyes. It’s hard to not feel a little trapped and lost like Thomas did and understand his feelings, make them ours. It’s hard to not be angry at him and then feel lonely and forgive every single mistake and time he’s been quiet and chose to turn away rather than stay. In a nutshell, it’s hard not to feel human and a little overwhelmed by the power of the feelings when you read this book.
I couldn’t choose my favorite character; there wasn’t one because they were all equally lovable and worth my complete attention. I loved the way they were represented throughout the story, I loved Thomas even if I started the book disliking him. I loved Lucas, the life he was radiating from every angle and that was standing out with pride if compared to the pain and the regret the story is full of. I loved our writer whose name I won’t give away because it’s your riddle to solve, his thoughts and his love for everything that made him… him. I loved the way they interact around each other, as if words are never needed because gestures and looks are the most powerful mean they are in possession of.
What left me with a little bit of bitterness is what happens between the writer and his love interest. I hoped up until the very end, I even turned the last page hoping to find something like a second chance for them both but I only ended up closing the book. Somewhere in my mind a voice reminded me that a lot of time life is not lenient, life doesn’t give second chances to everybody, and I suffered in my little corner with the main character. I had a minute of total quietness and I felt like him, sitting at his desk when he finished typing his novel on laptop. When it realized it was over, and all that was left was the taste of a love long gone and the bittersweet aftertaste of a memory that’s been kept secret for a long time.
I loved this book, and I have nothing more to say besides: read it. It will surprise you and it will stick with you for a long time. On this feeling, it reminded me a lot of Montpelier Parade (K. Geary) and kind of gave me the same vibes, so if you read that novel and loved it as much as I did, you will enjoy this one as well even though the topics are completely on two different planets. There's a reason why I highlighted the hell out of it and why it left me with tears in my eyes.
So while you go and find your reason to love this book and its characters, I will go and pester people so that they will go and buy it out of desperation. They'll thank me, in the future, I'm sure.
Thanks for sticking with me in this review as well, folks.
All the love,
sam.
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